Resolutions, Routines and Resources

On New Years I went for my traditional long hike. The hike allows me to reflect on the past year and make resolutions for the upcoming one. Since New Years follows a month worth of holiday feasting and leftovers, the hike also gives me a start on probably the most common New Years resolution of losing weight.

I reflected that being a caregiver now has become my longest “career,” surpassing my longevity as a GIS Manager for HVA, a nonprofit watershed organization. I also worked as an educator in various capacities for multiple year stretches, but combine all those stretches together and I still have been a caregiver for longer. I reflected, as I enjoyed my passion for hiking outdoors, that I now have gone the most years without backpacking since I became a Boy Scout, over nine years since we returned from our Pacific Crest Trail journey. I also reflected that if Cindy survives three more years then I will have spent 50% of my marriage being a caregiver for a relative suffering from dementia.

My resolutions as always revolve around preserving my brain health and Cindy’s will to live, along with the routine and resources necessary to make them happen. For caregivers a time for new resolutions comes when a “new normal” is reached, a new stage of decline in their patients.  This year the new normal I face and the New Year coincide.

This new normal differs from all previous ones for caregiver and patient.  Being taken off hospice acknowledges no further decline for Cindy.  Technically, Cindy’s affliction is not considered terminal and thus my new normal should be treated as permanent.  I now require lasting resolutions, routines and resources for the New Year to match my “permanent” situation as a caregiver.

The recent series of blog posts to close out 2023, titled “Beyond Palliative Care,” focused on what I needed to do for Cindy’s will to live.  The coming series bringing in the new year, titled “Beyond Terminal Care,” focuses on the resolutions, routines and resources I need to remain a “permanent” caregiver.

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