I am still working out the coverage kinks as I look forward to a time when I can post regularly on here and even go out to do presentations. The first two-thirds of this year was spent working out the bureaucracy kinks, seemingly the full last third will be spent obtaining the coverage. I have not exhausted all my options yet, so I remain hopeful.
In the meantime my plan is to squeeze out posts on the five major themes of this website, which I listed in the post The Other Humanity Hiker (since edited, the one advantage of “treading water” so long). To recap, those themes are Journeying, Humanity, Brain Health, Care Partners and True Love. These next five posts will cover how each theme was covered in the past and will be covered in the future.
I will be going over all my previous posts to double check how they fit into each of these main themes, along with how well they fit into search engine criteria and how well they were received. Since there are over 900 posts I assume this will take at least one year, but I will continue to make new posts as well … as long as I have adequate coverage. Besides making this website more visible this process will also lead to publishing a book in 2027 … if I have adequate coverage. As of now I plan to make each of the major themes a section of the book.
Coming up next: Journeying, Past and Future. Please subscribe to this blog if you haven’t yet; encourage a friend to subscribe if you already have. Like, comment and share posts to show which ones you appreciate most, which will help my visibility and indicate what should go into the book. I truly believe people can benefit from our experiences being shared. Let me know if you feel that way as well.
At the beginning of the year I laid out an optimistic ten year vision for my future as a permanent caregiver. The vision was predicated on Cindy turning 65 in February, making her eligible for the state’s Home Elderly Care program. The amount of coverage I could have expands dramatically with this change, allowing me to plan and engage in a variety of projects for the next ten years.
The best laid plans often go astray. Throughout this year I actually averaged less coverage than I had in 2024, due to too many cosmic tricks being played. Perhaps I should have expected that bureaucratic channels meant Cindy’s new eligibility would not take effect until August. Unexpected were complications with existing home health aides that actually reduced our coverage for the year.
In late August I finally had expanded coverage which led me to post “Full Steam Ahead!” Alas, that coverage lasted for only one month and I have yet to find replacements due to a wide variety of “tricks” continuing to be played. I learned one lesson from this that might prove helpful when looking to hire home health aides.
I do not need full time help for my particular situation, but only being able to offer a part time position creates a problem for aides that work multiple jobs to pay their bills. We are likely to be the farthest commute for most of them, which means we are the logical choice for an aide to quit first when they need to reduce their workload for their family … or sanity. I anticipated that offering full time hours to an aide would provide the incentive needed to reduce attrition. To sweeten the deal I used a payroll provider to set a higher hourly pay rate than set by health aide agencies.
Unfortunately, my incentives do not include a benefits package. Aides that worked here part time would have to obtain health benefits through other employment. Now if someone works here full time they will not work enough elsewhere to get health benefits. The answer may be to go through a healthcare agency after all. That is what I am working on now.
In the meantime I could use a few treats. I can think of none better than new subscribers to this website. Each subscriber provides a little psychological treat to me while making the site more visible to search engines. As awareness for my caregiving and journeying content grows the demand increases for my writings, music and presentations. Then some day, some day, I will have enough coverage to get out and give presentations with humanitarian and caregiver content.
If you already have subscribed, please encourage one friend to do the same. Also like and share the blog posts you find worthy. Right now I could really use some more treats.
If you subscribed to the blog after August, you should have received a confirmation email that would have then allowed you to download the song Humility, Faith, Courage. By confirming you also started receiving notifications of the posts I have made recently. Last week I completed the process of adding past subscribers to the new subscriber platform. Previous subscribers should now get notifications of posts, including this one. What I am unsure about is whether you also received a confirmation email that provided you the opportunity to download that digital song.
One way to find out is for you to comment to let me know whether you received that confirmation email. If many have not I will send out an email to all subscribers allowing you to make that download. Receiving emails for anything besides post notifications will not be common practice; I do not want to flood your email box like a political party during elections! This blanket email happens to be the only way I know at present to make sure that subscribers past and present have access to the download.
Speaking of commenting, this helps the visibility of the blog, as does hitting the like or share buttons. To reward subscribers who also comment I will provide another digital download via email, this one for the song American Dream. Since there are over 1,000 comments to sort through this will take some time, but if my coverage shortage gets rectified soon this should be completed by the end of the year. If you have not commented before, just letting me know now that you are getting post notifications and the opportunity to download Humility, Faith, Courage will get you on the list.
From the Music/Bards of Balance menu you can listen to these and other songs. I hope you enjoy them!
If you have not yet subscribe please do so. Like and share content. Encourage one friend to do the same. Help me reach out to other journeyers and caregivers.
As I looked over the problematic path, assessing whether I should go that way with Cindy in the adult stroller, I involuntarily chuckled out loud. “Of course we should not go this way,” was my assessment. “But of course we will,” was the thought that prompted amusement.
When we first acquired the adult stroller for Cindy I occasionally ventured onto woods roads unfit for vehicular travel. We went on the woods road that ran along the Bobolink Preserve. We went on the woods road that climbed the back of Haystack Mountain up to the tower on top. We went on the woods road that went up Beech Hill. We went on each of these woods roads only once, because once was quite enough for both the effort and nerves required.
Six years later, the string of mild autumn days and recent setbacks in coverage created a desire to get Cindy off the beaten path like the good ol’ days. Her and me against the world, gaining peace and solace in the surroundings we loved best. We entered Barbour Woods from the Lovers Lane trailhead and were soon rewarded by a woodsy scene reminiscent of a Robert Frost poem.
The woods road runs from Lovers Lane to Shepherd Road, the latter trailhead located only a few hundred yards from our house, but I intended to take the path only up to the top of Beech Hill and back down. Blocking the way to Lovers Lane for an adult stroller was a fallen stone bridge over a forest stream. The alternate aluminum bridge and beaten path back to the woods road were fine for foot traffic, but dicey for pushing an adult stroller.
After arriving at Beech Hill I decided to go on further until the brook crossing. The leaves had not reached their peak fall colors, but they were on their way. We appeared to be the only people out in these woods on this pleasant afternoon, providing the same feeling of solitude Cindy and I often experienced in the midst of a wilderness landscape. The hilly return trip also would give me a little extra exercise. We had plenty of time on our hands; why not prolong our woods outing by turning back at the brook?
Once we arrived at the brook I could see the aluminum bridge was wide enough for the stroller and the small steps on either side of the bridge would be easy to roll over as well. On the other side of the bridge loomed a choice between near insurmountable short steepness for a stroller or a sloped switchback that could tilt the stroller over. I left Cindy on the Beech Hill side of the brook to take a closer look at the options.
I ruled out the short steep route immediately, then hovered near the sloped switchback. “Yup,” I thought, “the path is sloped enough by the retaining wall to tip the stroller over if I am not careful.” Then it dawned on me that my choice between going back the way we came or risking the switchback had been predetermined before I made my assessment. I found myself chuckling out loud over this realization about myself. Of course I was going to make the risky choice regardless of what my analytical mind had to say about the matter. Just like I was going to take Cindy on a 5,000 mile walk across the country when she first experience cognitive decline.
I indeed struggled to prevent the stroller from tipping over as we went up the path along the wall, forcing me to move the stroller from the downward side rather than from behind, but I succeeded. The satisfaction gained from not having to backtrack, something no self-respecting long distance hiker likes to do, added to the contentment of our woods road journey on a spectacular fall day. In looking back I am reminded of the saying:
“Boldness has magic, genius and power.”
For years I thought that saying was attributed to Goethe. Then research suggested maybe Sir Edmund Hillary? More research in turn suggested perhaps a companion of Hillary’s. At this point I have adopted the saying as my own.
Boldness sharpens the mind, a distinction between that and foolishness. Risking the switchback sharpened my mind and nerves for the task. Risking the path again next year likely would have the same result. The real risk comes if I turned that route into a habitual outing. Over time the perceived risk would lessen, as would the sharpness of the mind. With the “magic, genius and power gone,” the boldness then transitions to foolishness. I would not have succeeded as a journeyer or a caregiver without boldness; so far I have stopped short of foolishness … usually.
Speaking of boldness, I am boldly attempting to broaden my outreach even as my caregiver journey appears permanent, all the bolder from the continuing coverage struggles I encounter along with rebuilding the subscriber base from scratch. Please assist me with this by subscribing to this website. Like and share content. Encourage at least one friend to do the same. Help me inspire other caregivers and journeyers.
I asked a friend recently to Google Humanity Hiker, the simplified instruction for finding my 900+ blog posts over the past 15 years. After the research results she asked which one to click, pointing out to me that there are now two humanity hikers. As the original humanity hiker, the URL for my website is www.humanityhiker.com. The newcomer’s URL is www.thehumanityhiker.org.
If you just put “humanity hiker” into the Google search my website comes up first. If you type “the humanity hiker” his website comes first. More problematic for me is when you add a term like “guy,” as in either “humanity hiker guy” or “the humanity hiker guy.” In both cases AI kicks in with a reference to Christopher Neil Maclurcan, a 29 year old Australian. He is on a mission to “Hike,” “Help” and “Heal” while hiking around the world.
His website features two pages, lengthy and informative, but no posts. He posts to Instagram, with his first on Jan 2, 2024. He appears to be in China now as inferred from his 46th and most recent post coming on March 4, 2025.
I admit to feeling a bit wistful there is another humanity hiker out there hiking around the world, a young whippersnapper at that. That was precisely my own ambition before becoming a home caregiver for the past 15 years. I also am a little irked that AI recognizes the other humanity hiker with 2 pages and 46 posts. The original humanity hiker (that’s me) has over 900 posts with numerous pages and related sites. Instagram be damned!
With this revamped website I have a modest goal getting 5,000 subscribers and will not begrudge the other humanity hiker if he gets more on Instagram. To be honest, I fear what too many subscribers might imply for the lifestyle and effort needed for obtaining them. Plus it is hard to teach an older dog new tricks, such as shifting all my posting to social media venues.
On the other hand, I may never reach 5,000 subscribers if I fail to change my ways at all, which led me to research search engine optimization. Crosslinking helps the visibility of a site. Notice my links in this post to the other humanity hiker; I hope he reciprocates. Focused categories also help, which is why I will be going through all my posts to place them into one or more of six main categories: Journeying, Humanity, Brain Health, Care Partners and True Love. Together these categories represent my contribution to a humanitarian movement that is needed for these trying times.
Cornerstone articles help the search engines. Apparently, an article can be a page rather than a post, while a category is an archival page. My next posts for this revamped website will be cornerstone articles for each of the six main category pages that shape the Humanity Hiker purpose … the original one that is.
Reader involvement also increases the visibility of a site. Let’s test that out. The other humanity hiker’s creed is “Hike. Help. Heal.” My humanitarian creed is “Love kindness. Build community. Believe in humanity.” Comment on which one you prefer and why.
Please subscribe to this website. Like and share content. Encourage at least one friend to do the same. Let us show AI who is boss! Or at least who was first.
Today, September 19, is our 39th wedding anniversary! I keep saying this every year, but I once had doubts we would reach our 30th. Now I figure we have an even chance of making it to 50, but that is not the anniversary I mainly want to bring up.
Fifty years ago my life as a long distance journeyer began with a group from the University of Connecticut thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. This past weekend I hosted a 50 year reunion for us ’75 AT journeyers. For those yet unaware of Cindy’s advanced dementia I sent out an email alerting them to her condition, but I need not have worried. Everyone adjusted well to not seeing Cindy’s famous smile, with many detecting what they assumed passes for a smile now in her advanced state of decline.
One of the hikers brought two flower pots of chrysanthemums to the reunion. I believe Cindy only has seen him twice over the past 50 years, but when asked why he brought that gift he replied: “How could I not, when I think about Cindy’s smile.” The spouse of another hiker, who had met Cindy only once before at a previous reunion, pulled me aside to tell me how much Cindy made her feel welcomed among relative strangers, even sending her home with plants that have since proliferated to provide a daily reminder of Cindy’s warmth and kindness.
I appreciated the kind things our hiker friends said about Cindy. Her natural warmth and kindness always impressed me, and I am gladden when hearing that impression of Cindy being shared by others. Such warmth as hers being validated is a reflection as well on the priorities of the validators, particularly the unusual variety that goes on long distance journeys.
I appreciated the thanks I received from others for organizing the reunion, though I also felt a little guilty when people referred to my “hard work.” The only thing that might remotely qualify as “hard work” that weekend was tending the grill, but with everyone gathered together on the porch the “hard work” was bathed in the aforementioned good vibes. Otherwise, I had abundant help with both the preparation and clean up, which made both no more than a normal day’s chores.
The opportunities to listen to the vibes of simultaneous conversations reminiscing about shared memories provided much greater satisfaction than being thanked. One such opportunity came when I was feeding Cindy indoors while listening to several conversations occurring outside on the porch. I was not able to discern what was being said in the simultaneous conversations, but together they formed the good vibes of a social harmony. I believe Cindy still can sense such vibes as well, as evidenced by an increased alertness during the weekend.
To be honest, I believe one ingredient for a successful gathering is when the host does NOT go overboard with planning and orchestrating the event. Good company will find their way towards good times without much structured help. All our various journeying communities have been good company …
As has been our neighbors … and friends … and family … and supporters. We might not have reached our 30th wedding anniversary without you. We certainly would not have reached our 39th. If we do reach our 50th it will be in large part due to you, so thank you. Keep up the good work!
Please subscribe. Like and share this and other content on this website. Convince one friend to do the same as part of a humanitarian creed that advocates:
“Love kindness. Build community. Believe in humanity.”
Cindy turned 65 this year and with that the potential for me to acquire full time help for the first time during this fifteen year journey (and counting). I expected the help to come much sooner in the year but a series of unfortunate events instead led to less coverage than usual. That changed in late August when full time help not only became available, but as a live in! I have been premature so often with my expectations, but everything now is in place for full steam ahead!
The first task with “full steam ahead” is to rebuild my subscriber base after all the website changes and additions that have been done as part of My New Ten Year Resolution. Towards that end I put in a Subscribe pop up, abiding by the research that this is the most reliable way to get subscribers. If you were previously subscribed you still need to subscribe again to receive notice of posts … but now you receive a link to a free digital download of Humility, Faith, Courage by The Bards of Balance with your subscription!
The original intent of the blog was to enable the adversity of Cindy’s early onset to inform and inspire others with their own related experiences. Several people commented that the reporting of our situation often read like a love story. To give people what they apparently want one of the new themes moving forward will be to fill in the background on this “love story.” Perhaps a book will come out of this.
With over 900 blog posts already, I also intend to make a book out of the existing material, as has been requested at times from followers. To help facilitate this I will be reviewing and featuring past blog posts that have stood out either to me or to you. I will turn these into “Top Five” lists, as in top five posts from the pedicab years, etc. Towards this end you will find two new menu items up top, “Contents” and “Features.” The Contents menu provides a chronological ordering of posts, while Features highlights special categories of posts. I will be expanding the Features as we go along.
The overall content and features of this website align with the humanitarian worldview I developed as a long term caregiver and long distance journeyer, as embodied in the website’s tagline. For a focus on this humanitarian worldview please visit my companion website: Unenlightened Wisdom Project: Journeying from Brain Health to Democracy. A series of five main books will be published over a period of ten years for this project, with additional publications and databases thrown in.
If you like what you hear with your free digital download, also check out my humanitarian eCommerce site where you can purchase additional songs by The Bards of Balance. More of these songs will be available over time, as will the movements from the American Discovery Symphony. The site will also feature publications from the Unenlightened Wisdom Project and presentations with a humanitarian theme. Eventually there will be merchandise with the humanitarian tagline: “Love kindness. Build community. Believe in humanity.”
I am excited for what now lies ahead with this full time help now available to me, a new chapter in this fifteen year caregiver journey (and counting). I hope you are as well. Please subscribe and turn your friends on to this humanitarian/caregiver/journeyer content, for my sake and theirs.
Someone recently asked if I am stressed. Considering I refer to my situation as a stressful one that is a fair question, one which needs clarification. Though most people would consider the situation of a long term caregiver for a loved one stressful, I have not felt stressed in a long time. I am mindful of this now as some folks are confessing to be stressed over the price of eggs.
The last time I experienced unhealthy chronic stress was when the combination of mortgage and maturing home equity payments almost equaled our total fixed income. That was an unsustainable problem that would have ended up with losing the house and my ability to care for Cindy. Some folks reading this may remember my grasping at straws to remedy the problem. Fortunately, the bank manager lived two houses up the street at the time and persuaded the bank board to make an exception to their rules for refinancing a home.
From the time of the refinance up until the pandemic our total monthly debts and income were about equal. Friends and family also came to the rescue over the years with donations, providing an occasional cushion and opportunities to give local eateries some business. Then came the pandemic.
The pandemic benefited us financially. Global inflation rose dramatically during the post pandemic due to a variety of factors that included supply chains, lagging work force and even war in Ukraine. Our country provided helpful stimulus checks while still keeping inflation well below the global average, partly because we stimulated resumed production of the work force better than any other advanced country. In addition to that, Social Security is indexed to the inflation rate, which meant our monthly income went up significantly during the post pandemic years.
During the post pandemic we even had enough of a cushion to engage in some much needed home improvement projects. However, our situation differs from the next household. The lower the household income and the less that income keeps up with inflation, the combined consequence of people who earn minimum wage, the more that something like the price of eggs matters. We receive well under the median household income, but people receiving the minimum national wage earns less than us, even with two people working full time.
You read that right. Two people working full time at the national minimum wage receives less than half the median household income. Another way to look at this: four people in a household would need to work 40 hours a week at the national minimum wage to approach the median household income for this country. While people with our household income or greater should have the means to avoid unhealthy stress from the price of eggs, I am not insensitive to the plight of the lowest wage earners in our country.
Political pandering and news media increase the stress felt by the price of eggs even for those who have the means to mitigate that. People who watched one type of news media was more stressed by the price of eggs during this past election year; people who watch another type of news media may be more stressed this year. Inflation turns out to be a reliable issue for stress-inducing pandering, since our investment economy ultimately depends on growth and a small amount of continuing inflation for everything except minimum wages.
You read that right as well. In a shareholder driven economy a modest level of inflation is viewed as a necessary corollary to investment growth, though shareholders are not wage earners and the “inflation” of minimum wages is considered counterproductive. Since modest macro inflation is a desired goal for a corporate economy, the micro inflation of goods such as eggs almost always exists as a political issue. Much of the same demographic that views macro inflation as necessary finances the stressful pandering over micro inflation.
The more that politicians or news media can stress their base, the more they gain their support. The why and how of this is something my ten year Unenlightened Wisdom Project focuses on, though I realize my modest platform does not compete with these national panderers. For now allow me to make two observations which may make a difference in stress for you as a caregiver, or just a household striving to get by.
Alleviating stress requires the ability to act on what matters most. Costs such as housing, health care and education far exceeds the price of eggs. Global factors do not inflate these costs as much as a shareholder driven economy, a reason why panderers focus on getting us angry over the price of eggs instead. The electorate has a little more ability to act in regards to shareholder inflation, though the way our system works makes this difficult as well.
Community helps us to act against a stacked deck, like the bank manager who lives two houses up the street, or the friends, family and neighbors that help in a variety of ways. Maybe you are not in the situation we were once in, maybe you are not a caregiver for a loved one, but in well functioning communities everyone assumes a caregiver role to some extent. Being a neighborly caregiver provides a double benefit, since the biochemicals released by “helper’s high” enhances brain health. Resist the stressful messaging by national panderers and tune in to your most important needs and those of your local community.
What is the price of eggs in Norfolk? I do not know. I look at my overall grocery bill each week and reflect on whether or not the cost remains within our means. Thanks to the inflation of our “fixed income” and the help of others we are fine and relatively stress free, immune to the pandering on the national stage. I hope you find the way to be relatively stress free as well, for the sake of your brain health and the well being of those around you.
For those feeling stressed about the amount of snow we are getting lately, here is a photo of our house from 2011.
Near the end of the American Discovery Trail hike I created a song about the kindness we experienced across the country. After the journey was over I composed guitar music to accompany some of my landscape photos along the way. Those two creations morphed into the two movements of Beauty and Kindness for the American Discovery Symphony, which premiered with a full orchestra ten years after the journey was over.
As a full time caregiver I discovered that working on the photos and music for sharing our 5,000 mile walk across the country to be therapeutic for maintaining my brain health. I came up with ways to continue this “hobby,” creating three more thematic slideshows and then orchestrating all of them. I spent the final year before the premiere of the symphony rounding up and engaging with the wonderful musicians who volunteered to perform.
Ever since Cindy came off of hospice last fall I have been trying to figure out how to best live life as a permanent caregiver. I ended up with a plan for the ten year Unenlightened Wisdom Project, scheduled to last until the end of 2035 (technically eleven full years, but humor me). Over the course of the next ten years (OK, eleven) a combination of publications, presentations and products will be made available to the public, designed to benefit brain health and humanity.
All of us are biased by our own experiences and the news we receive from others. News can be either information or misinformation depending on the accuracy and relevance to our own life journeys. As we expand the breadth and depth of our experiences and the news we receive, the better we can distinguish news that is accurate and relevant and the better we can transform our biases into wisdom. Unfortunately, the Enlightenment of western civilization created tinted glasses for American society that retains biases harmful to both brain health and humanity. Over the next ten years (OK, eleven) the Unenlightened Wisdom Project aims to remove these tinted glasses from our vision.
Both publications and presentations will inform and inspire others on themes ranging from brain health early on to true democracy as we head towards the year 2035. The project as a whole serves the same functions as the American Discovery Symphony. The publications will keep my mind engaged, while presentations will keep me socially engaged.
Should I no longer be a caregiver before 2035 I am committed to continue with the Unenlightened Wisdom Project until completion. You could consider this as my life’s work, as in the culmination of my in depth experiences as a long term caregiver, long distance journeyer, multidisciplinary STEM academic and multilevel educator. By the end of this project I will have turned eighty, a good time to just maximize the enjoyment of my own life.
For the followers of this website the year 2025 will feature “Top Five” lists, as in the top five blog posts for different themes such as “Bittersweet Moments” or “The Pedicab Years.” I will post excerpts from the writings of the Unenlightened Wisdom Project relevant to brain health and living well. I might also add further glimpses into my life as a caregiver, living in the same house and village where I was raised.
Over the next ten years I hope I can perform and/or present to expanding audiences at venues farther afield, but for 2025 I will start with local home gigs. Interested in discovering America? Brain health? Home caregiver wisdom? Do you live within a 50 mile radius? (I can go further if I find the coverage). Please leave a comment if you would like to invite me into your home for engaging with your circle of friends on the topic of your choosing. I ask only for free food (maybe even leftovers!) and to have a “hat” out for voluntary donations. The purpose of the donations will be to sweeten the pot for PCAs to come in and provide coverage during my home gigs.
I created a separate website called Unenlightened Wisdom Project to keep people informed over the next ten years. I am working on a third website where purchases of content and bookings for presentations can be made. This comes at a time when my current web host is merging with another, which means the first task for both the project and the sites will be to migrate them to the new host. The next posts for either site will come after the migration is completed.
Along with the migration I will work out a way to finally reward subscribers with additional content. For example, the “White Paper” for the Unenlightened Wisdom Project will be sent. Please subscribe as well to the Unenlightened Wisdom Project website (though best to wait until after the migration) and help me expand my outreach to people with content to benefit both brain health and humanity.
Please like, share and/or subscribe to further the outreach for brain health and home caregivers.
As a young man I seldom shed a tear over anything, certainly not over sad events. My problem solving instincts kicked in and I would be too preoccupied with analyzing how to make the best out of sad events than to shed tears, instincts that continue to serve me well as a caregiver. I did manage to shed an occasional tear over the most joyful events, weddings in particular. An occasional inspirational movie had the same effect.
With the Christmas season upon us, Cindy and I watch Christmas movies almost daily during meal time (ah, the advantages of pause and play streaming). As an, ahem, “mature” caregiver, I find myself shedding tears over trite Christmas themes that never would have tapped into such emotions when I was younger. Conventional wisdom suggests this is an uncontrolled consequence of aging. I do not dispute that, though I suspect the wisdom of aging contributes to being sappy. My role and research as a caregiver contributes further to this wisdom.
There are a handful of common Christmas themes. Saving Christmas or Santa Claus does not bring out the sap in me. Neither does thwarting international terrorism on Christmas (OK, so only Die Hard employs that theme). I may or may not find sappy the romantic kiss that finally happens on Christmas Eve while snow suddenly and magically starts to fall, even in southern California!
The theme most likely to make me emotional is the one in which a person is forced to reexamine their life at Christmas time, a la Christmas Carol. A person considered successful by civilized standards catches a glimpse of what life would be with humane or loving priorities. They have a revelation and choose the path of humanity and love.
Never does this theme work in reverse. Neither for Christmas nor at any other time does a movie tell the conversion of a formerly humane and loving person catching a glimpse of being rich and powerful. Christmas movies can get away with all types of fantasies, but suggesting that deep down inside our nature prefers to be successful over love and belonging is just too unbelievable for people to swallow.
If you have followed this blog for awhile you know there is a physiological reason for why the Scrooge conversion does not work in reverse; the same reason why certain behaviors enhance brain health. This accounts for the “deep down inside” feeling. Being civilized bombards us with messages that our priorities should be on material and/or individual success, preventing for some the experiences of joy, belonging and altruism making us euphoric. Yet our brain cells still know “deep down inside” what our conscious neglects. We still can distinguish between the believable and unbelievable at a subconscious level, a level where our true nature turns us into saps.
Younger adults may think sappy tears must be part of a cycle where the elderly return to a childlike, emotional innocence, but I have a different theory. As we grow older, more experienced and wiser (hopefully), we become more in touch with who we are. Part of that is acquiescing to what our body, conscious or even subconscious tells us, overcoming social norms that might not be in our best health interests. We make less effort at restraining joy at the level that sheds tears.
I go a step further. Knowing that euphoric joy enhances brain health, yet limited in my real life interactions with others now, I embrace vicarious opportunities such as Christmas movies for tearful joy to occur. I become sappier than I would be without this knowledge. I encourage younger adults who witness older folks like me getting sappy to loose the civilized restraints and follow suit for the sake of their own health.
‘Tis the season to be sappy. Then again, all seasons should be.
