Holiday Caregiver Advice – Making a List

Since Cindy has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s we’ve had a Christmas movie marathon every year. The past couple years we basically watched Hallmark movies every night. This year I researched and made a list of Christmas classics to watch, since Cindy may not be able to comprehend movies by next Christmas.

I confess that I make lists of everything. I have eight clipboards, each one corresponding to a different theme of lists. I have lists for my next blog posts, other writing ideas, slideshow goals, Internet tasks, composing and future adventures. I even have a clipboard with lists of lists. No kidding.

You may think this to be a bit, um, obsessive. To me these lists are a means of self-preservation. Research backs me up on this. Contrary to what many believe, multitasking is not good for mental health. Our minds work more efficiently and are less prone to decline if we focus on one task at a time. This would be bad news to someone like me, used to having many irons in the fire at once. Fortunately, caregiving focuses me on one single task. The lists are a means of still pursuing other tasks without focusing on them. I get an idea, jot it down on a list, let go of the idea, read a story to Cindy. There are times set aside for attending those other lists, particularly the one for blog posts. Otherwise, there is just one focus, one task.

Reading stories to Cindy relates to another advantage of lists, whether or not they are written down. Completing a list is like completing a journey; when one is completed the next one is waiting. When Cindy and I finish our Narnia journey (seven books), we will start on our Oz journey (fourteen books by the original author).

As you read here and just about everywhere, living life is in the journey, not the destination. One of these days I realize Cindy and I will not complete a list together, whether of stories or movies or anything else. She will reach her final destination and our journeys together will be over. Yet until that happens I go into each new list, each new journey, with the attitude that we will complete another one together.

Sometimes my lists are thwarted. I intended to hike the Connecticut Blue Trails with Cindy. Transportation issues thwarted us during spring and summer; now she is no longer capable of hiking on trails. On to other types of lists. Life is a series of adjustments.

Our favorite list is the people who get homemade cinnamon bread for Christmas. At one time that list approached one hundred people, consisting of family, neighbors and friends. That list has shrunk considerably by necessity, and now our daughters do the baking rather than Cindy. We still will deliver a few on the days before Christmas.

In case you’re interested, there are three Christmas movies that topped virtually every list: Rotten Tomatoes, Entertainment Weekly, etc. Maybe you guessed all three: “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “A Christmas Story,” and “Miracle on 34th Street” (1940s version). Others that make most lists include “A Christmas Carol” (1951 version), “Elf,” “Home Alone,” “Bad Santa,” “The Ref,” “White Christmas,” “The Bishop’s Wife,” “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” “The Family Stone,” and “Holiday Inn.” There are others on the list I’ve compiled as well.

Tune in to any of these this or, if you are in a similar situation, make a journey out of all them. Let me know which one you like best. The go on to your next list/journey.