Cindy jokes that she was attracted at the start to my humor, now remarking: “Good Lord, what was I thinking?” I’ll be the first to admit this means she’s easily amused, yet this overall joyful nature of Cindy’s keeps my spirits up in turn.
Sure, Cindy has her moments of melancholy as she faces her Alzheimer’s, but then I do something childish, like tickle her nose or make a Calvin-like face, and she starts to giggle. I’ve turned one of my bigger flaws, my adolescent behavior, into an attribute! If only keeping everyone else around me amused and happy was this easy!
I get a lot of “This must be hard on you.” Well, yeah, what’s hard is thinking about stuff like Cindy not experiencing the pleasure of grandchildren, but our living situation is no longer hard. Granted, I had to “get over some stuff” first, what some have called the five stages of grief, and learned to live more in the present. I plan some future posts around these.
Once I got to accepting certain things I could free myself up to appreciate what has been the continual “Joy of Cindy” in the moment. We give each other more warm hugs each day than ever before. Seems to me there is a lesson in all this, as I consider Cindy’s joy when hiking or outside in nature. Joy in nature, joy in the simple things, joy even when humbled by what life throws at you. I have no doubt that all three are related.