Two Memorable Anniversaries!

Today, September 19, is our 39th wedding anniversary! I keep saying this every year, but I once had doubts we would reach our 30th. Now I figure we have an even chance of making it to 50, but that is not the anniversary I mainly want to bring up.

Fifty years ago my life as a long distance journeyer began with a group from the University of Connecticut thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. This past weekend I hosted a 50 year reunion for us ’75 AT journeyers. For those yet unaware of Cindy’s advanced dementia I sent out an email alerting them to her condition, but I need not have worried. Everyone adjusted well to not seeing Cindy’s famous smile, with many detecting what they assumed passes for a smile now in her advanced state of decline.

One of the hikers brought two flower pots of chrysanthemums to the reunion. I believe Cindy only has seen him twice over the past 50 years, but when asked why he brought that gift he replied: “How could I not, when I think about Cindy’s smile.” The spouse of another hiker, who had met Cindy only once before at a previous reunion, pulled me aside to tell me how much Cindy made her feel welcomed among relative strangers, even sending her home with plants that have since proliferated to provide a daily reminder of Cindy’s warmth and kindness.

I appreciated the kind things our hiker friends said about Cindy.  Her natural warmth and kindness always impressed me, and I am gladden when hearing that impression of Cindy being shared by others.  Such warmth as hers being validated is a reflection as well on the priorities of the validators, particularly the unusual variety that goes on long distance journeys.

I appreciated the thanks I received from others for organizing the reunion, though I also felt a little guilty when people referred to my “hard work.”  The only thing that might remotely qualify as “hard work” that weekend was tending the grill, but with everyone gathered together on the porch the “hard work” was bathed in the aforementioned good vibes.  Otherwise, I had abundant help with both the preparation and clean up, which made both no more than a normal day’s chores.

The opportunities to listen to the vibes of simultaneous conversations reminiscing about shared memories provided much greater satisfaction than being thanked.  One such opportunity came when I was feeding Cindy indoors while listening to several conversations occurring outside on the porch. I was not able to discern what was being said in the simultaneous conversations, but together they formed the good vibes of a social harmony.  I believe Cindy still can sense such vibes as well, as evidenced by an increased alertness during the weekend.

To be honest, I believe one ingredient for a successful gathering is when the host does NOT go overboard with planning and orchestrating the event.  Good company will find their way towards good times without much structured help. All our various journeying communities have been good company …

As has been our neighbors … and friends … and family … and supporters. We might not have reached our 30th wedding anniversary without you. We certainly would not have reached our 39th. If we do reach our 50th it will be in large part due to you, so thank you. Keep up the good work!

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