For a few years I resisted using the words caregiver or caregiving on this blog. In my mind I simply was helping my best friend. As I came to terms with offering caregiver advice, I still struggled with what that category should be called. Recently I came across the term “care partners” in an AARP article. I immediately thought: “That’s it!”
“Caregiver” sounds so one-sided to me. While this might apply for a person being hired to provide care, I do not feel this correctly describes my relationship with Cindy. Throughout our marriage we cared for each other without really thinking about that as caring. She helped me with this, supported me with that, and I did the same for her. You know, like best friends do.
I consider us still to be partners while realizing that life is not fair. No one should keep score in regards to who goes last and/or longest as care partners. Or, at the least, best friends should not. Plus I view life being unfair mainly to Cindy, not me. I just have to learn and grow in different ways than I had planned.
In a sense, we still are partnering during Cindy’s final stage of early onset Alzheimer’s. Though incapable of communicating, she continues to demonstrate an incredible will to live. How do you think that makes me feel? Like I make sticking around worth it for her. To this day I still view what I do as easy, because of the type of “help” my partner provides.
While new “care partner” insights or vignettes that differ from the previous thousand posts may be scarce, I will continue to provide them as they occur. If you appreciate them, please subscribe, share or like. Ask a friend to do the same.
Thank you for being such a good care partner.
This is so sweet, and delightful!